Mess Of A Life

As each day melts into one another , I realise I have lost track of time . Its the twentieth day , or close to that , since I have been lost . Water is running out , even after the strict rationing I have been subjecting myself to . I knew water was the most precious of the commodities I could scavenge from the wreckage , limiting myself to a half cup each in the morning and evening . Its been difficult to keep a single direction , walking itself hard . The rough terrain making progress slow , but I know i have to keep moving west and there I have to cross the North-National highway . Even though it barely qualifies to be called a highway with its single lane tarmac surface almost eroded off , it would give me a chance of finding some strain of civilisation . But I could be way off in my estimation of my position , being hundreds of miles off from any sign of civilisation . I now curse each time I remember how foolishly i had started out . Mel was gone now , she could never return . Confusingly I feel very little emotion , conflicting the various thoughts that plague me during the unending hours of trekking . Sleep came easily the last few days , a welcome relief from the start . My muscles have toned themselves to the rigourous pace of the march , the aching has started to fade . I could not fully imagine how i looked . I was amusing myself thinking how my ex-wife and daughter would feel if they saw me now . What would little angeline think of her dad , if she saw me now , shirt in tatters , blood soaked khakis , not seen water in 20 days . I quickly drove away those distant thoughts and tried to concentrate on the present . My shoes would'nt hold out much longer , and the thought of losing my trusted boots frightened me . The terrain was rough and any of the sharp stone would shred my skin off my foot in a second . I had to find something to replace my boot . The evening closing in . I had to find a safe place to sleep away from the hyena and jackals . My eyelids aleady felt heavy , and it was risky to walk in the darkness . Collecting what ever twigs and logs I could find I made camp and dropped down to the hard ground and fell to sleep almost the instant i hit the ground . I knew no dreams would disturb this sleep . Deep .

neSt

All my life i've been shifting from one house to the other and to a certain extent one city to the next . So basically i've lived in five cities and about thirteen houses till now . So its understandable when i say i've never had any attachments to the houses i've stayed in . The current house , even though i've stayed in for about 3 years , is one to which i've had the least psychological attachment to . Infact i still havent seen most of the people who are supposed to be my neighbours , living about 5 meters or so away from my house . Atleast here , through common friends i've come to know some of the guys who live in the vicinity . So thats a fresh and welcome change .

Now back to the topic . So its odd that even though i've been in tvm for more that 10 year we havent bought a house here yet . So the oddity is set to end quite soon , surprising everyone from my mom to my brothers . Even though all the transactions are'nt over yet , the wheels have been set in motion and dad has finally signed the agreement and given the advance after a minor mishap which almost spelled the end of the deal before it started . Anyway the danger has passed and its now quite safe , although not completely safe , to start dreaming of a permanent house and maybe a neighbourhood where we atleast know who is living next door to us . But ofcourse the most important detail... there HAS to be chicks around... I wish god were kind to me and grant me that wish!!!

ShAkEn uP...

The news of the drowning of a fellow CETian has left me shaken . More so because of my little trip to the high current waters of aruvikkara the same day and my insane mountain climbing there . But tragedy , it seems , struck somewhere close , but thankfully not that close . News of the ill-fated death has left everyone shaky . Aishu could'nt figure out what she felt , though it seemed like fear to me . My mother was morally shocked . "How difficult it would have been to raise a son so far , to see him lost , after reaching CET , and due to lack of water ???" . How cruelly ironic ? Why should he have drowned because of the lack of water ? That too in a Government run hostel . How would have the mates of the boy taken it . Helplessly watching bubbles come up , while all they can do is stand around helpless . How would it have affected them to see one among their brothers die ? God knows . God help us all . Peace . Time to correct all our mistakes . Do it right people . Life is too short to make silly mistakes .

The Circle Of Life

Why do you wanna go around in circles? We do tend to go around in circles with most of our problems . We say we have a problem . Then we try to solve the problem by lending some logic to the situation , which most probably involves finding a way to clear ones side from all possibilities of self implication , or implication by others for that matter . Then would begin the endless cycle of creating and solving ones own problems . Someone wise must have said ( most probably in a much funnier and interesting manner ) "Once you try stop solving a problem and try to imagine it does not exist the problem may vanish into thin air"(something of that sort) .

Time on ones hand is the biggest enemy one may have during spates of such morosity , you sitting in class and dreaming up , concocting up broths of feelings and emotions ( yuck! ). But times like those offer us the least of choices . You are stuck there with no possibility of escape , with either you there by mistake or with you suffering the insufferable as a means to a favourable end ( like picking up spare attendance ) . Well then there is the chance of you finding a way to brush away the boredom with certain enjoyable class room activities like -
1) running a chat server ( passing paper chits )
2) art design ( drawing nude chicks )
3) cubism ( drawing cubes on the desk )
4) astronomy ( looking profusely at glamour stars of the class )
5) literature ( completing records/assignments )
or even
6) accupuncture ( rubbing your leg over your girls' - highly skilled personel will only be recruited ).

Well how misleading and pointless time can be ?