Love is something most of us yearn for, and we think that we have never obtained in the amounts that we deserve. We have many people to love us and for us to love, yet we hope to find that special someone, someone we could love so much that we could give up our lives for them, someone we could count on to be there, to support us and be there when we need them. Most of us spend our days dreaming about that perfect person who could understand us, take us for who we are. And we accumulate a wealth of experience enroute the path of 'The Search' for so called eternal bliss. This is a chronicle of a 'not so good at his trade' cassanova about his pursuits of the dame who would complete his life.
I being an above average scorer in shyness and meekness departments during my preteens and early teens, found it almost impossible to look at a girl's face, let alone talk to her and bring up matters of the heart if at all I did feel something towards one of them. Anyway nothing in life remains quite the same for very long, and this came true for me too. Tenth standard was the time when the metamorphosis began to take place, initiated by a Ponmudi family car trip, on the return trip of which I practiced 'eyeballing' the chicks on the road. The exhilarating feeling that this small feat evinced in me urged me onto the pursuit of higher goals and higher motives. But unluckily I was stuck at Arya Central School which offered very few avenues to use my new found courage and practice the newly developed tactical abilities to deal with members of the opposite sex. Nevertheless, that period did give me my first real crush(es), in the form of N M and later S (after reading her slam entry, spiced with flirty comments). But 10th was over before anything worthwhile could start and suddenly I found myself in 11th standard at Arya. This was a time for tutions, tutions and more tutions, and a sudden increase in the number of prospective females that fit my different yet specific criteria for acceptance into my heart (Arya had almost 2:1 ratio of girls to boys).
So love really hit me in the belly, together(almost to the date), from four sides, literally. In case you are wondering, I AM talking about four gals hitting the crush bullseye of my sick for love heart at the same time. First of them was N C, whose eyes I found myself looking into deeply, a couple of days after school started. She was perfect to my eyes at that time ( and not to others) with clear, clean-cut features and a great figure. That avenue crashed a short while later, due to a 'still a mystery' misunderstanding. But it was fun throughout the two years with both of us turning away from each other everytime we met on the corridors. Next on the list is the longest running episode of my life yet: Ag. Meeting her evoked what could have been interpreted as liquid poetry in my heart. Unluckily for me she never knew of my existance even though everyone else in my school and even other schools knew of my big crush and my pencil sketches of the timid beauty. Then came Aish and Di each serving as a motivator for me to attend my tution classes (chemistry and physics respectively). Anyway the next valentines day came and I bought a card ('will you be my valentine' one), and got about to thinking who I would give it to. The dilemma was put to an end with Di winning out logically because physics tution came about closer in the week, and I was in no mood to wait two days more than that was necessary. The card was duly accepted by a blushing Di and returned back yet more promptly the next day with a lot of mumbled apologies. ( *at this point I did think of rerouting the card to Ash but Di had scribbled off her name from the card with an ink pen shabbily and the card was beyond repair!). The next week my dear friend VS informed Ash of her three admirers in the class. She picked the first one easily; me. After some thought the next one too was clear ( third one was self proclaimed by VS as himself) . Anyway Ash too disawowed me stating her reasons to me while weeping on Sushi's shoulders( and to this day I have never regained my trust of girls completely). That left Ag. Twelfth standard passed along nicely with some regained ground with Di and Ash which I did not want too much anymore.
It was the almost the end of school and I wanted to try my last hand with Ag and bought yet another Valentines card (other one was damaged remember). Quite surprisingly she was prompter than any of the others in refusing me, and that is about the only time I have ever seen the poor girl so confident ( glad that I brought out the best in her ). And I thought gloomily that that chapter was to be the shortest of my wannabe love life.
But fate would not let us alone ( let her alone that is) that easily. It is here that most of you are wrong. It is not in college that my wannabe love story with Ag continued, but surprisingly at Tandem where we crashed for two months for entrance coaching. Ag was blushing everyday with me following her around with my eyes and physically when possible. Even there she was made to suffer the consequences of my serialised efforts at making her mine. One of my cousin's friends tried to help me (without my knowledge) and ended up embarrassing her (one of many such embarassments to come). A good friend of mine did her part by teasing the girl out of her wits everyday, which according to my opinion was the period when I had the most chance at a postive response from her. But two months is a short time and it flew by fast.
This is where the story veers back into chartered territory of College Of Engineering Trivandrum, Department Of Civil Engineering (ISO 9001) where we again found ourselves confronted with each other. She missed her step the first time she saw me during the alotment process, which was amusing to watch, but totally understandable after about 15-20 requests with our names splashed across Rosebowl during that period, which her aunt promptly called up and informed her, because she did not have cable television back then. I am sure that even in college the incessant teasing and embarrassing situations (like when introduced to someone as anugeetha the other person suddenly springs "ohh Aswin's ag" on her) continued to haunt her for the first 3 years of college. I put an end to final story of my pre 20s loves in s5 when I told her that I was finally over her and letting her alone (Finally after 5 years). In s7 the tour helped dispell all my illusions and I am finally over the cute little girl. Now looking forward enthusiastically to my bright future in 20s love. Girls here I come.
