When I went into the conference room, I knew that I would not come out unbattered. One has to expect atleast a fair level of badgering from any good meaning manager, in any sort of status meeting. Ofcourse we were never going to stick to our plans, or complete our work within our estimated time, which would have been practically cut in half through mild or severe persuation of the managerial kind.
So this week had been more than normal stressful. So what.
Its only that a few issues and a couple mega code changes were requested in a very mild manner to be analysed, documented, completed and tested within 3 days. It would have been a piece of cake for the people who came up with the plan because, these issue were open only for the last 8 months, with the same number of people working on them, with the same work load on them. And well it is little consequence how many issues were solved by my predecessors in the past few months.
Managerial skills are pretty difficult to come by. But it definitely is overflowing in my project. It definitely has convinced me to give my very best, in being a model of non-production for the next few months, as I enjoy looking into the future at my absolutely bright chances of making to absolutely nowhere on the chain.
Life is beautiful. Keep smiling. The world is ofcourse mine.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
pointleSS
I am at a point where I dont know what I want, but am so damn bloody sure that I want something...
Wonder when I'll figure it out..
Wonder when I'll figure it out..
Friday, October 12, 2007
Burdened Soul...
Today the immensity of the task that has fallen upon me finally has begun to sink in. As I waved goodbye to V, along with the whole team in the hot searing Hyderbad SEZ sun, the feeling of doom for having lost my mentor in this project, and a friend finally hit me. Lots of lost feelings came flooding back. Leaving college, waving goodbye to those accacia forests, leaving home waving to my friends and Mag, leaving Bangalore, waving goodbye to my first grown-up experience and Meenu, waving goodbye to Spoorthy, the only thing keeping me sane in Hyderabad, deciding to stay in Hyderabad, inturn equivalent to waving goodbye to Meenu again... Waving to Mag and Malu in chennai was the same, bringing back all those old feelings to the fore.
Seeing his excitement to go back home was good, even though I envied his pure joy at the thought of going back to his home town and family. I never had that feeling about Trivandrum, maybe partly because my life there fragmented and drifted away in the wind, never to be a part of the whole that was my past, or maybe partly because I will always be searching for things which are new and exciting and I certainly am nowhere near ready to settle down.
When I had first stepped into this project, I could see only experienced guys, who did not look like they were going to gel with me and I had a feeling of doom about the whole thing. But anyway it was supposed to be for only a month. V had seemed to be the person in control, and Y had seemed to be a person who was to be reconed with on what ever track that he was on. As time progressed it was clear that V was the only person in the project who knew what was going on or knew anything about what ever track he was on. Everyone else was completely clueless about what was going on. But then things happened and I have commited myself to the project and will now be a part of it for atleast the next one year.
My situation is that I am one of the youngest members of the project, but I have been given a whole module to handle from offshore, which I would say is a big risk they are taking, considering the large number of avenues available to me to screw up and end up costing the company millions. Vishwa was tried and tested in this track and even though he too was surprisingly young, he definitely was not just 4-5 months experienced like me. He was handling it perfectly, maintaining the trust of the managers and the client. Now I am supposed to step into those shoes and I know that it is definitely not going to be an easy task.
Another absolutely inherant problem with the project is that the management is one of the worst available with a steady string of screwed up projects under its belt. This is just the 4th project they screwed up in their eyes. And they have their list of valid reasons blaming others on why it failed ready, so they are not worried. But this fact impacts me heavily since, it means the client is so pissed off with our company that they are definitely pulling out of any future projects and is even contemplating on terminating our current project soon. That would mean the development project that I was eying for the future has almost certainly gone down the drain (even though not confirmed yet). That means it has opened up a flood of people taking release from the project and running for their lives. V has obtained release and has left, so has G who was holding the whole project together from onsite almost single handedly. I have replaced Y so he is also out. R and S are in the process of giving KT to other preparing to be released soon.
That just leaves me and Y.
I had decided that I am going to work my ass off and get to a position to demand this and and be in command. If no one comes into the project that could come true pretty soon, since there is no one else in the project up for it because the others are as inexperienced as me or simply do not have it in them. Well who says we have to take the stairs or the escalator, when a high speed elevator is available. I just hope the power stays on the whole time, and I am not boxed in for ever....
Seeing his excitement to go back home was good, even though I envied his pure joy at the thought of going back to his home town and family. I never had that feeling about Trivandrum, maybe partly because my life there fragmented and drifted away in the wind, never to be a part of the whole that was my past, or maybe partly because I will always be searching for things which are new and exciting and I certainly am nowhere near ready to settle down.
When I had first stepped into this project, I could see only experienced guys, who did not look like they were going to gel with me and I had a feeling of doom about the whole thing. But anyway it was supposed to be for only a month. V had seemed to be the person in control, and Y had seemed to be a person who was to be reconed with on what ever track that he was on. As time progressed it was clear that V was the only person in the project who knew what was going on or knew anything about what ever track he was on. Everyone else was completely clueless about what was going on. But then things happened and I have commited myself to the project and will now be a part of it for atleast the next one year.
My situation is that I am one of the youngest members of the project, but I have been given a whole module to handle from offshore, which I would say is a big risk they are taking, considering the large number of avenues available to me to screw up and end up costing the company millions. Vishwa was tried and tested in this track and even though he too was surprisingly young, he definitely was not just 4-5 months experienced like me. He was handling it perfectly, maintaining the trust of the managers and the client. Now I am supposed to step into those shoes and I know that it is definitely not going to be an easy task.
Another absolutely inherant problem with the project is that the management is one of the worst available with a steady string of screwed up projects under its belt. This is just the 4th project they screwed up in their eyes. And they have their list of valid reasons blaming others on why it failed ready, so they are not worried. But this fact impacts me heavily since, it means the client is so pissed off with our company that they are definitely pulling out of any future projects and is even contemplating on terminating our current project soon. That would mean the development project that I was eying for the future has almost certainly gone down the drain (even though not confirmed yet). That means it has opened up a flood of people taking release from the project and running for their lives. V has obtained release and has left, so has G who was holding the whole project together from onsite almost single handedly. I have replaced Y so he is also out. R and S are in the process of giving KT to other preparing to be released soon.
That just leaves me and Y.
I had decided that I am going to work my ass off and get to a position to demand this and and be in command. If no one comes into the project that could come true pretty soon, since there is no one else in the project up for it because the others are as inexperienced as me or simply do not have it in them. Well who says we have to take the stairs or the escalator, when a high speed elevator is available. I just hope the power stays on the whole time, and I am not boxed in for ever....
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